


Can't help but falling in love with you

by RozaRED



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anniversary, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, I am so sorry, Love Confessions, M/M, Monologue, My first fic, POV Bucky Barnes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sad Ending, Stucky - Freeform, Underage Drinking, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:13:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6213979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RozaRED/pseuds/RozaRED
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A soldiers love letter...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't help but falling in love with you

**Author's Note:**

> So for my English portfolio we had to write a Dramatic Monologue so how could I not write fanfiction about my favourite gay sons, I had to change the names so it wasn't Steve and Bucky for English but I changed them back for this. Enjoy! (This is also my first fic pls be nice)
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters (sadly) and I am not making any profit 
> 
>  
> 
> I would also like to say Happy 99th Birthday Buck!!!

Steve, hi…

I just wanted to say happy anniversary, it's been what, seven years since we first met? How time flies. Do you remember it? The first time we met? Hah.. It was.. Yeah it was back in high school and we were in the cafeteria and when you looked up I thought your eyes were the bluest I've ever seen. Like the sea. You looked so beautiful, and what did I have to do? Trip over my own feet, throw my coffee at you and fall flat on my face right at your feet… So in a way I fell for you before I even knew your name. I was so scared that you’d punch me or somethin’, but then you just laughed, you laughed so hard that tears were streaming down your cheeks and it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.

 

I love your laugh.

 

It shouldn't have worked, I was the popular football jock with a secret love for all things space and you were.. Well you were the tiny artist who wouldn't keep your trap shut. I swear Stevie pullin’ you out of fights every other damned day, you never knew when to stand down, did you? Still don't by the way despite what you say… Anyway… Yeah people said we shouldn't ‘ve worked but somehow we did. After that day when I was a complete idiot we became best friends, _inseparable_ they called us,   _joined at the hip,_ never leaving the other’s sight, some thought it was strange. Y’know I'd always wanted more than just friends, but was so scared too say anything. Not about what people’d think but, scared that if I did I would lose you as a friend.

 

Fallin’ for you was so easy.

 

Then… Then three years later, it was the nineteenth’ May. A really warm day. Y’know the type that drenches people in sweat making everything uncomfortable. But we didn't notice, we just sat on the stoop in silence… your ma was in hospital again and the doc had said it was serious, that she might not make it this time. After a while you got up and walked into our tiny flat, went straight for the cupboard and took out a bottle of vodka and slumped down onto the floor in front of the sofa and started drinkin’ straight from the bottle. I knew it wasn't a good idea, but me being… well… me, I just couldn't deny you anything, still can't. So I gave in and sat beside you, spent hours passin’ the bottle between us ‘til there was nothing left. Then you turned to me with your giant sea blue eyes and what did you do?...what did you do?... you kissed me. It felt like my whole world stopped and I was frozen. It split my heart in two cause I’d dreamt of that moment forever, but it didn't mean anything to you, cause you were crazy drunk. I sh- I should've stopped you, but your lips were just so soft and pink and I… ugh… I couldn't. It didn't mean anything to you and that broke my heart cause it meant everything to me, Stevie, everything. We were gonna go to sleep, and you'd wake up and not remember a thing, tell me that it was the alcohol, that you didn't like me like that.

 

I was in love with you and you…you weren't.

 

Or that's what I thought… When I woke up and got out of our tiny double bed that we shared cause we were too poor for anything else.. I got up and went to the kitchen to start making eggs for our breakfast… Scrambled, I know, I remember… I heard some rustlin’ from the bedroom and I knew you had woken up. This was gonna be the tough bit, ignorin’ what’d happened the night before. But instead of walkin’ over and sitting at our table, you… you walked over to where I was cookin’ the eggs and you wrapped your bony arms around my waist and kissed the back of my shoulder blade. I spun around to face you and that's when you said it. Three words. Three words that completely changed my life. Those damn three words that meant I hadn't been pinin’ after you for nothin’.

 

_I love you._

 

After that day everything in my life just fitted. I had you the way I wanted you. Sure we had to hide… But, I was happy, we were happy. I...I shouldn't ‘ve gone. Seven years Stevie… seven years. And three years of pinin’ you, useless when we could've been kissin’ the whole time. The next two years were the best of my life. Two years of lazy days in bed, long walks in the park, hah.. Do you… do you remember that time for our second anniversary I made a picnic and took you up to the hill at night and we stayed there all night under the stars, hidden from the world… Yeah, yeah and you called me a sap when I told you I loved you. Wish we could do that again.

 

I loved bein’ together.

 

A little after our second anniversary… they came. We were tight for money and you were in and out of jobs every week cause no one could deal with Steven Grant Rogers, always standin’ up for what's right. They came and I had to go. _We need you_ , they said, _you’re wanted,_ they said. Load of BS… Tellin’ you was the hardest thing in my life, you shouted at me not to go and… I shouldn't’ve… I shouldn't’ve. Why did I go? Why did I have to go an’ leave you, God I am such an ass! When did I become such an idiot? You'd say always probably… Just… UGH! Why the hell did I leave?  What is wrong with me? Those damn papers comin’ n’ tellin’ me they were shippin’ me thousands of miles away from you.

 

 _Sargent_ they called me, _Sargent James Buchanan Barnes._ Your Sargent, your soldier, always yours… I'm sorry.

 

I love you.

 

Leavin’ you was the worst day of my life and… Stev… I sh- I shouldn’t ‘ve gone. I-I'm so, so sorry. I…I… sorry I… I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. After… After all this shit, I was…I was meant to come home, come back to you and… and we'd l-live happily ever after like those f-fairytales I used t’ r-read you when you were s-sick. That was the plan, come home back to you, m-my Stevie. I-I-I’m so s-sorry I… I s-s-shouldn't ‘ve left you. I l-l-love you so much. I'm s-sorry I le-eft, I'm sorry I-I'm not comin-ng hom-e, I'm sorry I f-f-failed you. I h-hope th-that one da-a-ay that yo-you c-can forgive me. I…I wasn't fast enou-gh, st-strong enough, sm-smart enough. I'm so, so, s-so sorry. I...you were it for m-me. Yo-you're my One. M-my s-soulmate. I'm… I can't s-say how so-sorry I am. Y- you de-des-served bet-tter. I...

 

I love y-

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Thank you for reading!! - Rin x
> 
> Come cry about Stucky and other gay ships with me on my tumblr: http://consultingelf.tumblr.com/


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